Stuttering Hub

No More Doormats Please

Are you always apologising for your stammering?  Are you always saying the word 'sorry'? Do you constantly find yourself sorry about some thing or another?

Being sorry for something, when you've genuinely made a mistake is fine. We all make mistakes. We say sorry for the blunder, learn from it and move on...

It's when we're constantly saying sorry for merely existing, it's not right. You're not a doormat who constantly has to apologise for other people's issues. You're a human being with every right to voice your opinion, and do what you want... just like any other person out there.

Stop it.

And if you're finding it hard, then just imagine being a red carpet instead of a doormat! Would you still be saying sorry?

Worse Than A Stutterer

It was always going to be a difficult one to beat.

But, there is a worse excuse than a stutterer blaming everybody else for his/her problems - Ashley Cole blaming his mother-in-law for his infidelity!

Using Your Initiative

Stuttering has a funny habit of making us not want to do much. We become overcome with fear, so we just don't try. Nothing really new here.

In our inaction, we just go with whatever life throws at us. Usually we end up following the crowd. It's safe to do so. That way we can hide and not be noticed. No need to take responsibility for anything.

Just for once, be noticed. As you do, you'll realise it was never that bad. Take the plunge and walk the path you've always wanted, with your head held high. It will be exciting and frightening at the same time.

Pretty soon, the crowd you always followed, might end up following you.

Why Speaking Less Can Be Good

A person who stutters usually speaks far less than a fluent person.

Below are a some reasons why this isn't necessary a bad thing:

1. Speaking less means our mouths and vocal cords get plenty of rest.

2. Not speaking that much means we appear calm and attentive.

3. We can give our ears more exercise because we will be listening far more.

4. It gives us a reason to be flamboyant with our body language.

Who said we need to speak more?

You Are The Ultimate

Worry and fear about things decrease as we get older.

I think this is an age thing going on. Less things bug us. We begin to understand the true meaning of "life's just too short..". This sentence does become more literal as the years pass!

However, we can still become concerned about things at anytime. It could be some worry about this. Or some hesitancy about something else.

We can allow our thoughts about ourselves to get carried away.

It's a shame, but humans are programmed to think negatively about themselves at times. We feel like a a kid again. We feel weak. We forget our real self.

If you find yourself thinking badly about yourself, be it about stuttering or anything else, just remind yourself of your true nature and your innate abilities.

Let me ask you a question.

Would the glorious Sun exist, if it were not for you?

Whose eyes make the Sun real anyway?

Would this entire World exist, if it were not for you?

Ponder on this...

That is the extreme of your power.

If You Haven't Got it, Create It!

If there's one thing humans are great at, it's creating things or inventions.

It was humans who created planes.

They even created mobile phones!

It was humans who created the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

They created space shuttles.

It was humans who created hearing aids.

Humans created heaters. These are essential for the current British winter by the way, which seems like it's being going on for 200 years!

And on and on...

In creating inventions, humans usually plan. We create flow charts and diagrams. We might draw sketches and write notes about how our weird and wonderful inventions are going to work.

However, in all this planning and building, we forget to create one important thing -ourselves... or at least the person we want to be.

Some people find it hard to work on themselves for whatever reason. Maybe it's worry about failing or just laziness.

However to get into action, the same principle applies as building an invention. Create a plan.

What do you want in life? Write it down.

Who do you want to become? Write this down.

What do you need to do to become the person you want? Write it down!

How are you going to go about doing the things you need to do?

Now connect everything up with lines and arrows of the direction you will be going in.

Once it's written, then its time to do.

This is the point at which many people despair.

However, there is nothing to worry about. Remember you are using the same principles as creating an invention.

If you were inventing a new object, it would now be time to build a part of it and then take some time to reflect on what you created. How did it work out? What worked? What didn't? How can it be improved?

It's the same when working on yourself!

What's the first step on your to do list? Whatever it is, break it down into even smaller steps.

Now do the first step. What was it like? If were happy with it then move onto the next step. If not, try out the step again. Keep doing it until you you feel happy to move onto the next one.

We create and use plans to create amazing objects and things all the time.

Don't forget to do the same when creating an amazing You.

My Feature In Sensazn Magazine

There's a 3 page spread about me on p.47-49 of issue 11 of the Sensazn Magazine.

I talk about stuttering, life and being of South Asian origin.

You can read it by going to this page. Just type 47 into the search box at the top of the page and hit Enter. Click the forward arrow at the top to read the other pages...

A Cure for Stammering is Now a Real Possibility

Exciting news this week about stammering has confirmed what many of us always suspected - it is in the genes.

This took me back to my PhD days, researching the development of information systems for health care and personalised medicine. Identifying genes and proteins involved in medical conditions and disorders is fascinating... even more so is the use the use of genetic material to treat them.

With stammering, this is now a real possibility.

No I Won't Go The Extra Mile

The biggest factor stopping people from doing what they want in life is they are afraid of screwing up.

It's really sad that the human race has developed so much fear in themselves.

"I can never do that. What's the point of me even trying?"

If you find yourself coming to conclusions such as this, please please take some time to reflect on how you have come to this.

Unfortunate as it is, many of us since childhood are brought up with limitations. Usually when we are young, we end up having to deal with the insecurities of the elders who are supposed to be looking after us.

We buy into it. At this age we don't really have much choice. We don't have the ability to do much else.

But as we get older there is the media. Constant information on why we have to be this way or that way. You have to be clever or smart or good looking or famous (or fluent!) to be someone! The media know people are worried about themselves. So, they play on it to make us feel even worse about ourselves.

Ignore it. 

Make the choice and be the person you want to be. What you believe about yourself is most important. Not the opinion of others.

Being Aware of the World We Live In

I read an article in the Sunday Times a few months ago. It was about a guy who was 18 years old and he wrote up what he would get up to on a typical day. To cut a long story short, throughout the day, this guy used every modern communication technology you could think of, from iPhone to MSN to communicate with his friends and family members.

Indeed we're in an age where there is an entire generation who don't know the world without the Internet.

Exciting stuff.

But if you're a person who stammers, then this should be warning signs...

With so much less communication taking place face-to-face, don't let it stop you from getting out and about and talking your socks off.

Enjoy the digital age. But use it also as an excuse to continue talking in the real world.